1. |
Sad Eyes
02:14
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Sad eyes made the climb
And looked down on the town
And those lights
Never looked so small
And this time
The darkness that surrounds
2000 people sleeping in their beds
Like candles flickering in the wind
They’re losing ground
Sometimes to look alive
Is all that you can do
As you
Walk the empty streets
But this time
There’s nothing holding you
Back from the nothing at your back
A candle flickering in the wind
You’re losing ground
Sad eyes made the climb
One last time
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2. |
Dreaming Hard of You
02:17
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Dark sky and the morning star
Beside a blue pacific moon
I’m here on the second floor
Dreaming hard of you
You left just a year ago
Not the way you wanted to
Left me here on the second floor
Gone where none may follow you
You can choose to fight
But you cannot choose to win
All you can do is spit out blood
And try to get up again
Your ghost in the passing cars
And the sounds I hear at night
Dead air in the empty room
Where you lost that final fight
You could choose to fight
But you could not choose to win
All you could do was spit out blood
And try to get up again
Dark sky and the morning star
Beside a blue pacific moon
I’m here on the second floor
Dreaming hard of you
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3. |
Natalie Says
02:52
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Natalie says there’s nothing for you here
And maybe she’s right,
All of your options slowly disappear
The longer you’re here
The longer you lie and wait
For the meds to take
Natalie says you don’t need to be so tough
And maybe she’s right
You’ve just gotta say you’ve had enough
Of being tied up
Of having to lie and wait
For the meds to take
But Saturday night
Out on the porch in the half light
You saw the stars in her eyes
As the moon began to rise
And you couldn’t fight
Natalie says there’s nothing for you here
And you know she’s right
All of your options slowly disappear
The longer you’re here
The longer you lie and wait
For the dream to fade
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4. |
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You turn out the light again
And sink down into bed
Like it would be enough
To prove you’re tough
Like you’re not terrified again
Of everything he said
Like he could still be here
Like if you said his name three times
He would appear
You run it through your mind again
Although against your will
A flashing set of frames
Cracked windowpanes
Try to grasp yourself again
The part he tried to kill
He’ll never find you here
But if you say his name three times
He may appear
Once he was kind
How could you see the signs
That got stamped into lines
On your face
The pieces you lost
With every glass that was tossed
Through days crystal clear
Then erased
You turn out the light again
And sink down into bed
Like it would be enough
To prove you’re tough
Like you’re not terrified again
Of everything he said
Like he could still be here
Like if you said his name three times
He would appear
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5. |
Devil That I Know
03:13
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You and I
Sitting on the porch at night
Watching all the cars go by
Out on the street
Breathing in our wasted dreams
Rising through the air like steam
With every word that’s said between
Us for awhile
Cause the devil that I know
Is never going to let me sleep
The swelling of the strings
Is just the cars out on the street
Telling me there’s nothing left to see
And you crack a smile
That I return in blank denial
That it’s the thing I walked a mile
Trying to see
And I just let it puncture me
And gladly pay the penalty
For some empty memories
That add up to nothing
Cause the devil that I know
Is never going to let me sleep
The swelling of the strings
Is just the cars out on the street
Telling me there’s nothing left to see
And just like that it’s 2 a.m.
And you snuff out your cigarette
Say goodbye and go to bed
And let me walk on home alone again
Cause the devil that I know
Is never going to let me sleep
The swelling of the strings
Is just the cars out on the street
Telling me there’s nothing left to see
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6. |
Claire
03:02
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Last saw you on broadway
On a fine summer Saturday night
White baphomet on your jacket
Bathed in the yellow streetlight
Just you and
The casually satanist crew
Cause I used to know you
And the cigarette burns on your arm
You wore them like sigils
To wave you away past harm
Just you and
The casually satanist crew
Oh Claire
You could be anywhere
The last message you sent us
You were heading back down to the bay
Then traveling somewhere
But where you never did say
Goodbye to
The casually satanist crew
Oh Claire
You could be anywhere
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7. |
He Talks
02:24
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The silent man in a crowded room
His eyes glued to the floor
Keeps a grip on his plastic cup
As he heads toward the door
He talks
He just won’t talk to you
The way that other people do
So you slip out after him
As he steps out in the dirt
Becoming what you are
And what you are’s a world of hurt
He turns
And then he turns away
That last failed communique
Oh shooting star you came so far
Just to burn away
It never lasts and now it’s passed
And you’ll disintegrate
And so you stand in a crowded room
Your eyes glued to the floor
And keep a grip on your plastic cup
As you head toward the door
‘Cause he talks
He just won’t talk to you
The way that other people do
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8. |
Dead-Eyed
02:45
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Dead-eyed waiting for a
Bus ride down 18th
To Southtown watching dumb kids
Blow down Willamette street
To kill the time they’ve given
To the scene
The kind of thing that sets those
Dumb kids free
But there’s no looking through
The window at the lights
Or half-drunk lyrics being
Mis-sung to the night
Cause you’re a method actor
All the time
And there’s nothing in this life
You won’t deny
You could ask why
You have to be so unhappy
All the time
But it shows
It’s all you’ll ever know
So now all your friends have
Left town for the bay
For a new scene you’ll never see in
Eugene anyway
And when they left they’d report
A paradise
With more house shows and better
Take-out Thai
You could ask why
You have to be so unhappy
All the time
But it shows
It’s all you’ll ever know
It’s all you’ll ever know
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9. |
Ghost Avenue
03:34
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South past 29th
Looking for any signs of life
And then left onto a ghost avenue
And I'm waiting for a line
To drop to me and mine
And you
I’m waiting on you
Cause taking things apart
Is all that I’ve got for art
But joy can’t be dissected it’s true
So I find out what I need
And pick it til it bleeds
And choose
Whatever suits you
So tell me if you want me
Tell me if you need me
But darling I’ve nothing to gain
Cause no matter what you do to me
I’ll always be the same
But you see the morning star
As you’re climbing into the car
Though all the rest are hidden out of view
And I catch you in a smile
And you drag me through the miles
Back to you
I’m waiting on you
So tell me if you want me
Tell me if you need me
But darling I’ve nothing to gain
Cause no matter what you do to me
I’ll always be the same
Tell me if you want me
Tell me if you need me
Tell me if you want me now
Though I have nothing to gain
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10. |
Thread in the Seam
03:03
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They turn out the streetlights at 5 am
There’s no one around today
As I walk through the door
Dreaming of more
Like a reason to stay
Or stay away
But it’s a lost fight
It’s never enough
To head down the street with
A throbbing head
Only three hours spent in my dreams
After spending the night
Picking a fight
And the pulling away
This dying day
And it’s a dead end
It’s never enough
And the sun hurting my eyes
Makes me realize
I can’t live this way
And I’ve seen the death of the dream
The thread in the seam
As it gets pulled away
They turn on the streetlights at 5 pm
There’s no one around today
As I’m pacing the floor
Dreaming of more
Like a reason to stay
Or stay away
But it’s a lost fight
It won’t be enough
I’ve seen the death of the dream
The thread in the seam
As it gets pulled away
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11. |
Radium Paint
02:24
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I can see those veined wings coming in
I can see them poking through your skin
So you'll be moving on
And by daybreak you'll be gone
I can see those veined wings coming in
I can see that smile that you faked
Like a mouthful of radium paint
You don't think that i know
So you bare your teeth for show
I can see that smile that you faked
So what am I supposed to do?
I know you're changing
but I can't change with you
Now that your transformation's come
You spend your time living in the sun
And it's worth living in
But the light just burns my skin
You spend your life living in the sun
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12. |
Out in the Snow
03:13
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Out on the corner of
High and 29th
You’re walking at night
Between the lights
And houses
To reclaim the space you lost
A year or so ago
Out in the snow
In the streetlight glow
When you fell down
As he got in the car
In the front yard
You said no
You told him don’t go
And when you see the house
It’s smaller than before
You put your hand on the door
Asked how he could ignore
When you fell down
As he got in the car
In the front yard
You said no
You told him don’t go
So a lost couple years
Have left you down here
Where it all disappeared
To reclaim the space you lost
A year or so ago
Out in the snow
In the streetlight glow
When you fell down
As he got in the car
In the front yard
You said no
You told him don’t go
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J. R. Nelson Eugene, Oregon
DIY one-man-band from the rainy Willamette Valley
J. R. Nelson recommends:
The Juniper Berries
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